


A Long Way Back Home

by romanticalgirl



Series: Falling for the First Time [2]
Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:39:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 6/4/01</p>
    </blockquote>





	A Long Way Back Home

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 6/4/01

“And here I thought there’d be some grand celebration or something. Instead, I don’t get any kind of greeting whatsoever.”

Doug looked up from the pile of papers on his desk and smiled. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

Jen walked into the office and sat in the chair opposite him. “Wow. I’m…well gosh, underwhelmed.”

“How was your trip?” He turned his attention back to his paperwork, giving her a quick smile before he did.

“Good. No delays, no derailments. And the sex I had with the conductor was just phenomenal.”

“Good thing we opted to keep the relationship non-exclusive, huh?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a hurt glare. “Are you even at all happy to see me? I mean, it’s been almost three months.”

“I’m quite aware of the passage of time.”

“Three months, Doug.” She got up and took a couple of steps toward his desk. “That’s a hell of a lot of self-gratification.”

“You should try it for 28 years.”

“You’ve found someone else, haven’t you?”

He stopped writing, holding his pen in both hands. “Yes. After waiting 28 years to find you, I’ve become the whore of Capeside in the intervening months since you left me.”

Jen held his gaze for a long time without speaking. “Did you miss me? At all?”

“I’ve been busy…”

“Never mind.” She stood up, her hand held up to stop his words. “I’d really rather not hear it.”

“Jen…”

“Bye, Doug. Maybe…maybe I’ll see you later.”

 

~**~  
She stared at the door, teetering between hurt and pissed off. The key felt hot in her hand, burning with whatever it was that felt like betrayal.

“Unlock the door.” His voice shivered down her spine and Jen couldn’t help but lean back against him. His lips brushed her earlobe. “Quickly.”

Jen slid the key in the lock, turning it. The door swung open and she gasped softly. The room was awash in candlelight, smelling softly of flowers. “I thought…”

“I know what you thought.” He nuzzled her neck, hot breath like elixir. He pressed his body to hers, letting her feel how aroused he was. “Do you know what I’m thinking?”

Jen moaned softly as she slipped out of his embrace, catching his hand and pulling him into the room behind her. The door shut behind them, locking them into the dim room. She pushed him back against it, running her hands over his body. “Does it have something to do with getting you out of this damn uniform and into something more along the lines of a college co-ed?”

He captured her face between his hands and pulled her into a long, slow, hungry kiss. She leaned against him, her soft body against his hard one. She slid her hands between them, her fingers easily unfastening the buttons of his slate blue, uniform shirt. She tugged it free of his body, easing it down his arms.

Doug stopped touching her long enough for her to strip his shirt off of him, then reached down to pull his own undershirt out of his belt and over his head.

“I’ve missed you,” she breathed as she moved back against his chest, her mouth hot as she kissed the firm muscles, making her way down to the dark skin surrounding his nipple.

His large hands moved over her shoulders down to her slim waist, holding her closely. Jen moaned against his skin as he found the hem of her sweater, pulling it upward. She left his embrace reluctantly as he stripped her slowly. The curly mane of blonde hair tumbled around her face as she came free of the blue wool.

Doug made a soft sound of appreciation as Jen stood in front of him, her chest barely covered by the pale pink camisole. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, bending his head to kiss her neck, his tongue tasting her warm skin.

“Yeah?” She undid his belt and then unzipped his fly, pushing the dark blue slacks, waiting for the comforting thud of his holster. Her fingers hooked under the waistband of his black boxer-briefs. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He rubbed his thumb over the silken strap of her camisole. “I’m going to strip you,” His voice was as silky as the material, thick and husky. “And I’m going to make long, slow love to you.”

“What are you waiting for?” she asked breathlessly as his hands moved down her back, his fingers gripping the fabric and pulling it slowly over her head.

“Just taking my time,” he assured her, his hands now smoothing over her bare breasts. His thumbs grazed her nipples, teasing the hard tips as his tongue trailed down her neck. “You complaining?”

“Only if you stop.” She tilted her head back, one hand moving away from his waistband to gently rub the material that did nothing to hide his erection.

Doug inhaled sharply, his hands leaving her breasts and moving along her flat stomach to the zipper of her jeans. He concentrated on stripping her, trying to ignore the thrills of sensation her roving hand sent through him.

Her pants fell to the floor and she stepped out of them, slipping out of her shoes as well. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

Doug resisted her, kicking his shoes off and stumbling out of his pants. He chuckled softly as she giggled, taking his other hand in hers. She bent forward just a little, her creamy breasts tantalizing. “Come on.”

“What’s the matter?” He let her lead him to his bedroom doors. “You act like it’s been three months or something.”

She tossed him a dirty look over her shoulder before opening the French doors and freezing. Candlelight winked at her, highlighting the rose petals littered across the floor. “Doug…”

He took the lead, guiding her deeper into the room. The bed itself was sprinkled with petals, but he bypassed it, leading her to the bathroom.

Soft music played from somewhere as steam rose off the scented water. “How much did this all cost you?”

“Monetarily? Or the emotional abuse I had to endure from Pacey?” He moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“It was nice of him to do this for you.”

“He did it for you.” He felt her stiffen nervously and chuckled, the soft rumble relaxing her. “Because he knew you’d like it, not because he harbors any residual romantic feelings for you.”

“Oh. Good.” She sighed and turned around, her gaze intent. With the practiced ease of someone who knows what she wants, she stripped his boxer-briefs off of him then turned back toward the tub, leaning back against him, reveling in the feel of his nakedness. “So…you wanna get wet?”

“Not really.” He let his hands drift lower, teasing the waistband of her panties. “But I’d really enjoy getting you all wet.”

She shifted slightly. “You’ve already succeeded admirably in that regard.”

“I haven’t even started.” Doug stripped away her panties, helping her step out of them before leading her to the bath. He held her hand as she climbed in, a soft sigh escaping her as she sank into the warm water.

She took a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent. “What is it?”

He knelt beside the tub and smiled at her, scooping up a handful of bubbles that he lay across her chest. “Strawberries and champagne.” His soft breath scattered the bubbles, dancing across her skin. “To go with…” he reached over and grabbed a silver bowl off the toilet, which had been covered with a thick, blue towel. “Strawberries.”

Jen giggled as he fished one out of the bowl and held it to her lips. They parted slowly, her tongue sneaking out to lick the tip before her white teeth sank into the succulent flesh. Her giggle dissolved into a low moan of satisfaction as the sweet juice spread over her tongue.

Doug pulled the strawberry away from her and moved in, his lips warm against the cool juices that decorated hers. Jen swallowed the bite of strawberry and let his tongue take its place, warming up her mouth as he kissed her.

She pulled back, breathless, both hands scooping up bubbles and bringing them up to her chin, her arms barely covering her breasts. She lifted them higher, poised in front of her mouth, and then bit her lower lip as she smiled at him. Doug couldn’t help but return her grin as she let out a soft puff of air, sending the iridescent orbs rushing toward him.

Her golden hair curled damply on her shoulders, Jen leaned into him. “You’ve got a bubble on your nose.”

“Do I?” His voice was husky and thick. She tilted her head slightly, moving even closer. She rubbed the tip of her nose against his, coating them both with the silky soapiness of the exploded bubble before kissing him again, no teasing this time as she fit her mouth to his.

Doug raised up on his knees, one hand curling around her neck as they kissed; hot, searching tongues seeking out crevices of warm skin to tease and taste. Her mouth was sweet and hot as his tongue tangled with hers before he pulled away, sucking at her lower lip for a second before they parted.

Jen sank back into the hot water as Doug released her, her whole body hungry for more. Jen held his eyes, her gaze burning. “Doug…”

“And champagne.” He lifted the bottle and poured the golden liquid into a champagne flute. “Although you have to promise not to report me to the authorities. I’d hate to spend the rest of the holiday in jail for contributing to your delinquency.”

“I promise.” She licked her lips as he brought the glass up to them. “Although tonight when I stumble home drunk, you’ll have to do the explaining to Grams.”

Doug tilted the glass slowly, watching the icy liquid pass her pink, parted lips. His voice was a low growl of promise. “You’re not going home tonight.”

Reaching up, Jen took the glass from him and set it on the side of the tub then she reached for his free hand and brought it to her cool lips. “As much as I enjoy the wining and dining,” she kissed his palm, her tongue tracing his love line. “I want to make love to you.” She kissed him again, then took his thumb into her mouth, sucking on it lightly.

His eyes half closed with wanting, Doug carefully slipped his thumb from her mouth. “Damn it, I’m trying to seduce you.”

She smiled, a soft sigh of pleasure. “You’re doing a wonderful job,” she whispered. “But,” moving forward in the tub, she edged closer to him. “Can’t you seduce me later and make love to me now?”

“Is that what you want?” His thumb rubbed her lower lip. “Just some quick romp between the sheets.”

“I didn’t say it would be quick.” Capturing his hand, Jen brought it down to her breast, shivering as his thumb brushed over the hard nipple. “In fact, quick is about the furthest thing from my mind.”

“Really?” Doug removed his hand and reached for the washcloth that lay draped over the side of the tub. He let it slide along the porcelain until it vanished into the water, the dark blue cloth turning almost black. “I can think of a lot of things I’d rather were further from your mind.” He grinned and ran the washcloth over Jen’s thigh; his hand strong and firm against her.

Jen lay there, enjoying the warm sensation of his hands moving over her, the soft hairs on his arm brushing her erect nipple as he moved slowly, seductively. Finally, after agonizing minutes of his touch, teasing but never satisfying, Jen braced her feet against the end of the tub, her muscles tightening painfully as Doug casually ran the cloth along her inner thigh, the fabric lightly brushing the swollen lips that ached for his touch.

Shifting her hips, she muttered a soft grunt of frustration and reached down, pulling the cloth from his grasp. “Please?” She arched her back, pressing it hard against the porcelain as she raised her hips. “Please, Doug?”

He nodded his compliance and brushed his fingers over her smooth thigh one last time before slipping them easily inside her.

Jen’s shuddering groan of relief echoed through the tiled room as his thumb brushed over her clit, his fingers penetrating her, disappearing into her slick heat.

She wrapped her hands around the edges of the tub, the cool white surface providing her some stability as Doug pressed into her, his own breathing as ragged as hers.

Her body slid lower into the water as he wrenched control away from her, the rush of her orgasm coupling with the overheated sensation that permeated the room, leaving her light-headed and weak.

Her breath shivered out of her, sending ripples along the surface of the water. Looking up at Doug, she managed a weak smile. “I really think I should get out of this tub before I melt and simply slither down the drain.”

Doug eased away from her, taking the glass from the side of the tub as he did so. Drinking the rest of the champagne quickly, he got to his feet and set it in the sink before turning back to Jen. “C’mon.”

She took the hand he offered her and got to her feet, standing calf-deep in the still warm water. “Doug…”

He shook his head and lifted her out, bringing her body against his. “Shh,” he whispered softly in her ear. “I’m going to dry you off slowly, torture you just a little bit more, and then I’m going to make love to you.”

“No,” she whimpered helplessly, shaking her head. “Please?” She wrapped her legs around him, the damp tendrils of hair clinging to his thick cock. “Go…ah…God,” her breathing was pained, desperate. “Please?”

He gave in as her lips closed over his earlobe, sucking at the tender flesh. He groaned and shifted her weight, carrying her the short distance to the counter. He settled her on it carefully, holding her hips as he pulled away from her. His hand shook against her pale skin as he nuzzled her cheek, his mouth finding hers as he nibbled on her full lower lip. “I wanted to pin you up against my desk in the police station today,” he murmured into her open mouth, stroking her tongue with his own. “I wanted to sweep everything off my desk and undress you and make love to you until you begged me to stop.”

“I don’t ever want you to stop,” she assured him, her legs wrapping more tightly around his as she urged him closer. “But I do really, really want you to start.” Her hands slid around his waist and came together in the small of his back. “I want you inside me, Doug. Deep and hard and…” her words died out in a broken sigh as he slipped inside her, his cock pressing into her wetness, her body grasping at him hungrily.

Doug’s hand slipped down under Jen’s ass, lifting her up just enough that he could move, pumping his hips back and forth, slipping inside her in a slow, steady rhythm, determined to drive her crazy. Her heels dug into the back of his thighs as she threw her head back, inviting him to feast on the succulent skin of her neck.

Doug’s lips and tongue moved over the warm flesh, sucking softly as he continued thrusting inside her, whispering her name against her skin. Jen groaned and tightened her grip on him, leaned back, her hands reaching out to grab the counter for support.

The crash and crinkle of glass did nothing to separated them, the sickly sweetness of the scented oil that was slowly spreading across his floor not even entering the rarified atmosphere of their lovemaking as one of Doug’s hands snaked up her body to tangle in the cascade of blonde curls.

Jen moaned his name and brought her hands up to frame his face, finding his lips with her own. She sucked on his tongue voraciously, thrusting toward him wildly until she broke away, crying out in intense relief. He buried his face in the hollow of her neck, licking the droplets of sweat from her skin as he moved inside her, in search of completion.

Burying the fingers of one hand in his short hair, Jen tugged lightly at the strands while the other hand rested on the nape of his neck, holding him to her overheated skin. Doug shuddered as his body reached its breaking point, his orgasm crashing through them both.

They slumped together, leaning on one another, both spent. Doug raised his head slightly, his breath warm on her neck. “I love you.”

Tears stinging her eyes, Jen nodded just enough. “I love you too.” Her hand rubbed the short hairs at the base of his neck, still holding him close. “There are still strawberries?”

“And champagne.”

She smiled as he pulled away from her, easing their bodies apart. “And there’s a bed in there sprinkled with rose petals just for me?”

“Well, I thought I might share it with you.” He helped her off the counter, catching her as her legs threatened to give way. “If you don’t mind too much.”

“I want to do that again,” she tilted her head in the direction of the counter. “About a hundred times before sunrise.”

Doug gathered the champagne bottle and the bowl of strawberries, smiling at her contagious grin. “I can’t promise a hundred times.”

Jen bit her lower lip and lowered her lashes flirtatiously. “But you’re not saying we can’t try, are you?”

Doug caught her in a kiss before she slipped out through the bathroom door into the bedroom. “I’m not saying anything of the kind.”

~**~  
Jen swung open the dorm room door. “This had better be fucking important.”

“Well, the adjective is correct.” Doug smiled sexily. “I’ll let you gauge the importance.”

“Doug!” She moved into his embrace, hugging him tightly. “What are you doing here?”

“Ah, asked like a woman with something to hide. Tell me there aren’t boys tied up to the bed in the other room.”

“No.” She pulled back and looked up at him, her eyes alight with happiness. “Not tied up, no.”

One eyebrow raised in response, he let her tug him into the room. The living area was littered with papers and pizza boxes, some of questionable age. She pulled him down the short hall and knocked on one of the doors. It opened and a tall, blond guy poked his head out. “What?”

“Dave. Doug. Doug. Dave.”

“Hi, Dave.”

Dave nodded and held out his hand. “You’re, like, Jen’s cop boyfriend, right?” When Doug started to agree, he looked at him suspiciously. “You’re like out of your jurisdiction, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice to meet you, man.”

“Likewise.” Jen tugged him further down the hall and knocked on another door. “You have guy roommates?”

“The girls and I didn’t get along living together. So I switched rooms with one of their boyfriends.” As the door opened, she smiled. “Tim. Doug.”

“Tim.” Doug didn’t even bother to smile. Tim looked surprisingly like Jack, though not quite as sculpted. “Nice to meet you.”

“So, you’re the mysterious boyfriend we’ve all heard so little about. Jen keeps information about you like a closely hoarded secret.”

“I do not. You guys just got sick of hearing about him.” She squeezed Doug’s hand. “Are we still going out tonight?”

“Yeah. I’ll add one more to the guest list.” Tim looked at Doug for a moment. “Unless you’re not staying?”

“He’s staying.” Jen bit her lower lip as she smiled at Doug. “Aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“Great.” Tim nodded to them both. “See ya.”

Jen giggled and pushed open the door on the opposite side of the hall. Suddenly urgent, she pulled Doug into the small room and shut the door behind them. She leaned against it, looking up at him shyly. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He took a step toward her, his hand cupping her face. “I hope it’s all right that I showed up unannounced.”

“It’s fine. Good. Excellent, even.” She leaned into his touch. “I can’t think of anything better. Ever.”

“I didn’t ruin any plans? Sounds like you guys have something big planned for tonight.”

“Just a pre-Christmas celebration. We’re going to a club to have dinner and listen to a band. Exchange some gifts. That sort of thing.”

“I could stay here. Or go back to my hotel.”

“You can go back to your hotel,” she agreed. “To check out so you can come stay here. Why would you get a hotel?”

“Better safe than sorry. Be prepared. All that.” He leaned in to brush his lips across hers gently. “I was a Boy Scout, you know.”

“I’m not surprised in the least.” Jen grinned and ran her tongue lightly over his lips. “How close to your heart do you keep that be prepared edict?”

“I didn’t leave everything I brought with me back at the hotel, if that’s what you’re asking.”

She ran one fingertip down his T-shirt, curling it under his belt. “That was sort of what I was asking.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah,” she admitted, using her finger to pull him closer. “Except I really didn’t care what the answer was. I’m gonna fuck you anyway.”

Doug bent his head down and nuzzled her neck. “Thank God.”

~**~  
Jen slit open the wrapping paper and gave Tim a look, laughing as she pulled the gift free. “You think you’re so funny.”

“You know you needed it, Lindley.”

“Whatever.” She set it down and smiled as everyone at the table laughed. “Thanks, Tim.”

Everyone but Doug. “An alarm clock?”

Tim looked over at Doug, his laugh self-conscious. “Its sort of…Jen’s snooze alarm doesn’t work, but every morning she hits the damn thing and falls back to sleep. So every morning, I have to haul my ass out of bed to get her ass out of bed.”

“Like you don’t fall asleep in there half the time anyway,” Dave reminded him. At Doug’s look, he quickly added, “Studying with the door open.”

“At least with this I’m spared waking up to your face every morning.”

Tim shrugged. “Like I enjoy your morning breath? You’ll remember that my bed’s a hell of a lot more comfortable than yours.”

“Anyone want another round?” Jack grabbed the pitcher from the center of the table. “Doug? You wanna help me?”

“You need someone legal to buy the beer, Jack?”

“Yes.” He pulled Doug out of his chair and started walking. As soon as they were out of earshot, he sighed. “Plus, I thought it would be a good idea to get you away from Tim before you did something illegal.”

“I’m not wrong, am I?” Doug sat on one of the empty barstools.

“You’re not wrong.”

“But she doesn’t see it?”

Jack flushed and looked away from Doug for a moment. “Nope.”

“Not even that it’s a blatant opportunity for her to have sex with you without compromising your friendship in any way?”

“She says he doesn’t look a thing like me.”

“I see.”

Jack ordered another pitcher and sat beside Doug. “Tim really doesn’t give a shit that she’s involved. I have a strong suspicion that, had you not shown up this weekend, he’d have tried to give her something else as a present as well.”

“Would that be bad?”

“What?” Jack looked at him shocked.

“A boyfriend her own age, right here?” Doug shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Maybe she needs that.”

“She loves you.”

Doug turned slightly and looked back at their crowded table, his eyes trained on Jen and Tim laughing together. “Doesn’t make me what she needs. Or wants.”

“She talks about you all the time.”

“To you. Because you know me.” Doug sighed, pursing his lips together. “But she talks about him too, right? Stupid, annoying, cute things he does? Offhand comments that have no bearing on what you’re talking about that she blows off as just so irritating she can’t get them out of her head?” Doug turned in time to see Jack’s guilty expression. “A cop boyfriend ten years her senior isn’t what she needs right now. And I’m sure it isn’t the cool, social cachet everyone thought it’d be.”

“She loves you.”

“That’s a pretty feeble excuse, don’t you think?” Doug picked up the pitcher and headed back to the table. “Look at them, Jack.”

Jack did and sighed. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

~**~  
“Okay, he’s sexy, sure. I’ll buy that. In like an underwear model sort of way.” Trisha watched Jen’s expression in the mirror that backed the bar. “And he is older, which is a major bonus.”

“But he’s a cop,” Kari threw in.

“Bad news,” Trisha agreed. She looked back at their table in the reflection. Doug seemed to meet her eyes and she flushed. “He is sexy.”

“You guys just don’t know him. He’s incredible.”

“He’s also not around, Jen. College is about getting play.” Kari faced Jen. “Your boy – or whatever, he’s down there in Hicksville every day, every weekend. College is about life, girl, and you seem to think you left yours back home in a police uniform.”

“I have no desire to sleep around. Or get loaded at parties.”

Trisha watched Doug walk toward them, her manner cool. “But you know you’re hot for Tim. And that boy is achin’ to get in the Lindley panties.”

Jen blushed. “He tried some drunken fondling the other night.”

“And you said your typical, unequivocal no?” Trisha continued to watch Doug out of the corner of her eye, knowing he was listening to every word.

Jen paused for a minute, her blush deepening. “Eventually.”

“What?” Her full attention whipped back to Jen. “What?”

“I was a little drunk too. And I didn’t…he didn’t get far.”

“You bitch. Holding shit out on me? How far?”

“A little…” Jen ducked her head and closed her eyes. “Digital manipulation. But I stopped it before it went too far.”

“Jesus, Jen.” Kari shook her head. “How do you stop a guy with his fingers inside you?”

Jen shrugged, drunk, embarrassed and, with Doug in town, suddenly guilty. “You come.”

Trisha shook her head. “I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on us.”

“It was just the other night. It’s not like I’ve been harboring state secrets. I was lonely, he was handy, no pun intended. And we were both horny.”

“Did you return the favor?” Trisha finally managed to look back at Doug once more. He looked hurt, but not surprised, which surprised her.

“Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Kari poked Jen in the arm. “What the hell is sort of? Either you jacked him off or you didn’t.”

“I didn’t.” Jen scrunched her eyes closed and dropped her head onto the bar. “I went down on him.”

“Jen!”

“I know!” She shook her head. “I suck.”

Trisha watched Doug’s face harden, sadden. “Evidently.”

Kari leaned down. “Are you gonna tell the big, bad policeman?”

“I can’t. Doug’s this amazing guy. Sweet and loyal and…”

“And so you’re gonna lie to him?” Trish raised an eyebrow. “And what about the next time you’re lonely and horny?”

“Self-satisfaction is my new credo,” Jen assured them.

“And the next time you’re drunk?” Jen didn’t respond, letting her hair fall in her face. Trisha slid off her stool and patted Jen on the back. “Sounds like your long distance love affair isn’t as easy as you thought it’d be.” Walking back toward the table, she stopped beside Doug. “I hope you got the message loud and clear.”

“You made sure of that.” His expression was flat as he looked down at her. “Why is that, exactly?”

“Person like Jen needs her freedom.” She moved past him, her hand brushing his crotch. “Maybe you do too.”

“I’m really not interested in anything you’re offering.”

“You haven’t heard any of my offers yet.”

“I don’t need to.” He smiled thinly at her and moved to join Kari and Jen at the bar. “Hey.”

Jen looked up, her skin flushed. “Hi.”

“I’m going to head out.”

“Why?”

“It’s late. I’m not quite sober.” He captured a curl and rubbed the silky texture between his fingers. “You want me to take you home, or do you want to go with Tim?”

“And Dave.”

“Right. And Dave.”

“No. I’ll go with you.” She slipped off her stool. “Let me get my stuff and we’ll go. And I’ll see if I can persuade the guys to stay out for a while.”

“You don’t have to…”

Jen gave him a smoldering look. “I want to.” She took his hand and tugged him back toward the table. She hugged everyone before gathering up her gifts. “We’ll see you guys later.”

“Breakfast tomorrow,” Jack reminded her.

“Right. We’ll be there.” She hugged Tim last. “You and Dave’ll be out late. Right?”

“Anything for you.” He hugged her tightly in return. “Don’t forget to toss the old alarm clock. I don’t fancy walking in on you and Mr. Policeman in the morning.”

“I won’t.” She shouldered her bag and took Doug’s hand again. “Night.”

~**~  
Doug waited as Jen unlocked the door to her room, watching her, taking in every movement. “Your friends seem nice.”

“Jack despises Trisha. She put the moves on him first thing. She reminds him of Abby Morgan.”

“I can see that.”

“She’s harmless though. More bark than bite.”

“You think so?”

She opened the door and stood sideways, forcing him to touch her as he entered the room. Body against body, she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Maybe I just know that no matter how hard she tried, she could never get to you.”

“Yeah?” He smiled and closed his eyes, their bodies swaying slightly.

“Yeah.” Feeling Doug’s arms circle her, Jen began tugging his shirt loose from his jeans. “Because you’re head over heels in love with me.”

“I am, am I?”

“Oh, yeah.” She slid his shirt up his chest, her thumbs brushing over his hard nipples. “I’m surprised you’ve managed to resist me this long.”

“I attribute it to all the torture resistance training I received at the police academy.” Doug lifted his arms so she could pull it off of him.

“Well, I suppose that’s a good thing. Otherwise, we’d have been kicked out of a lot of public places.” Her lips grazed his bare chest, feather light.

Doug closed his eyes for a second before reaching down to grab Jen’s hand. He pulled her into the room and shut the door behind them. Lifting her up, he placed her so that she was standing on the bed. He unbuckled her belt and pushed the thick black leather out of his way. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he slipped her faded jeans down her legs.

“What are you doing?”

He shook his head and smoothed his hands over her thighs, stroking the creamy flesh with his thumbs. “I just want to look at you.” He bent his head and kissed her milky white skin.

Jen kneaded his shoulders as Doug kissed his way along her soft skin, each touch a haunting caress. He held her hips with shaking hands as he brushed his cheek against her stomach.

Sinking to her knees, Jen captured Doug’s face in her hands and stared into his clear, blue eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he assured her. “I just don’t want to rush this.”

She placed her lips against his, their foreheads touching. “Do you spend the time we’re not together thinking of things to say that will make my knees melt, or is this the product of 28 years of sexual repression?”

“29.”

She pulled back, “What?”

“29.” He smiled and shrugged.

“What?” She touched his lower lip absently. “When was your birthday?”

He glanced at the clock on her bedside table, waiting as the numbers changed, midnight glowing red. “Today.”

“You bastard,” she pushed at his shoulders, shoving him away with a regretful chuckle. “And when was I going to be informed of this?”

He reached out for her hands and pulled her close again. “I’d like to enjoy my birthday present now.” He placed her hands at his waist and started unbuttoning her shirt. “I can’t wait to see what you got me.”

She watched him undress her, unable to look away from the pure desire in his eyes. “Doug?”

His hands stopped moving and he sighed softly. “Don’t?”

“I almost had sex with Tim.” She couldn’t look at him as she said the words, turning her head to the side. “I stopped it…I kept it from progressing to that, but…” Tears clogged her voice and she paused to swallow them back. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Doug captured her chin and turned her face back to his. He looked at her for a long moment, silence thick in the room. Finally, he released a soft breath and kissed her. Jen pulled away, confused. Doug sighed and bowed his head, shaking it slightly. “At this moment, Jen? Right now? Do you love me?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then it doesn’t matter what happened. I don’t want to know.”

“But I cheated on you.”

“You did what 99% of women your age would do when confronted with someone they were attracted to while their boyfriend was gone.”

“You’ve got a low opinion of women.”

“Justifiable, don’t you think?” He closed his eyes and shook his head more vehemently. “Sorry. That was out of line.” He looked up at her and brushed her cheek with his thumb, sighing as it came away damp from the tears that trembled on her lashes. “I just…I don’t care about Tim right now, Jen. I didn’t need to know something had happened between you to hate him. I despised him the second I met him, because I knew immediately that he was interested in you.” He moved his hands back to her shirt and resumed unbuttoning it, slipping it off her body. “But that doesn’t matter, because the only thing that concerns me right now,” he unfastened her bra and eased that off her as well. “Is making love to the woman I’m desperately in love with.”

She barely caught the sob that threatened to escape, swallowing the heartbreaking sound, feeling it rest, thick in her throat. Her hand stretched out, brushing his cheek with infinite softness. “She’s in love with you too. More than she ever thought possible.”

“Do you think she’d care to prove it?” He turned his head and kissed her palm, his lips hungry for the taste of her.

“Oh yes,” she sighed, using her hand to bring his face to hers. “She wants to prove it to you so much it hurts.”

“Well now, I can’t have that.” Doug moved forward, sleek as he smoothed over her body, moving on top of her. His hands framed her face as he settled above her, his knee slipping between her legs. He stared down at her, his blue eyes serious.

Her hand moved tentatively, trembling as it touched his cheek. “This…this is goodbye, isn’t it?”

His smile didn’t do more than lift one corner of his mouth, sadly, regretfully. “This is me,” he admonished her with a tender kiss. “Loving you.”

Jen ran a finger lightly over his eyebrow, trying hard to meet his eyes. “So,” tears threatened in her voice, “what do you want for your birthday?”

“This,” he murmured softly, his lips warm against the hollow of her throat. He moved over her body, his hands exploring her soft curves as his lips found her breast, suckling the hard tip. “And this,” he whispered, his tongue curled around the nipple.

Jen’s hips arched off the bed, grinding against him as he released her, raining kisses over her stomach to the silky hair between her thighs.

Doug moved down the bed, his body cradled between her legs. He used his thumbs to part her swollen lips, his warm breath teasing over her clitoris. “And this.”

She came off the bed as his tongue found her clit, brushing the hard nub with the tip, working over it as he slowly slipped two fingers inside her, bathing them in her liquid heat.

Doug feasted on her, his fingers moving rapidly, pushing into her as she braced her feet on the bed, inviting him deeper. Doug groaned, his tongue trailing down and tasting her, licking the succulent flesh that trapped his fingers.

Her breathing changed, shifting to halting gasps as he increased his pace, fingers and tongue working inside her, stroking the slick walls. His tongue slipped up again, this time attacking her clit hungrily. She lifted off the bed, crying out as her hands found his shoulders, kneading them harshly as she came around his thrusting fingers.

Doug stroked her gently as the rush ripped through her, coaxing her down from the euphoric high. His tongue continued to taste her, licking the length of her, diving into the warm crevices as he chased the pearly droplets that coated her rosy skin.

As she sighed, shuddering to a stop, Doug moved up her body, feeling her shake as their bodies touched, alive with sensation. His lips marked the path along her skin until her hand tangled in his short, dark hair, bringing him up to face her.

His blue eyes were heavy with desire as they met hers. Jen brought his lips down to hers, kissing him softly before gently pushing him off of her. Doug rolled onto his back, beside her on the small bed as Jen turned on her side. She kissed his cheek, laughing quietly as she got up and straddled him, sitting on his stomach, the heavy pressure of his cock firm against her ass.

“You were going too slow,” she told him with a sexy smile.

“I thought you liked it slow,” he returned her grin, his hand lifting to brush over her hard nipple.

“I like it slow,” she agreed. “I also like it fast. Or hard. Or easy. Or any combination thereof.” She moved slowly as she spoke, easing down the length of his cock. “I like it pretty much however you and I do it.” She stay still, reveling in the feel of him filling her. “However, if I didn’t feel you inside me soon, I was going to shove you off the bed and take you against your will.”

“You think you could take me?”

She glanced down at their joined bodies, the thick dark hair of his tangled with the dark blonde of hers. “I think I just did.”

“You may have a point there.” He licked his lips, his eyes closing slightly as she lifted off of him, her thigh muscles pulling tight until just the tip of his cock remained sheathed inside her.

She lowered herself slowly, letting him slide up inside her until she rested on his body once again. “Now,” she leaned forward slightly, letting him slide out of her again, her muscles clenching around the swollen tip at the last moment. “What do you really want for your birthday?”

“I need a new gun.”

She grinned and moved down on him again, building a slow rhythm, determined to drive him crazy. “Yeah? This one feels pretty good to me.”

He closed his eyes as she raked her short nails down his chest, his hips rising to meet hers as she thrust down on him. He captured her hands, grabbing them by the wrists and pulling them back, trapping them behind her back. Her breasts jutted forward as her back arched, driving her down harder on his cock. “Just good?”

Her clit brushed the rough, dark hair at the base of his cock and she trembled, her breasts heaving with every breath. Doug forced himself into a sitting position, holding her on his lap as she rocked down onto him, taking him deeper.

Her nipples grazed his, their chests held together by sweat and desire, as he kept her arms pinned behind her. Jen bit her lower lip, her white teeth brilliant against the swollen red of her mouth, her hot breath dancing along his neck as she leaned into him. Her knees dug into his thighs, fighting for leverage as she ground against him, their locked hands brushing her ass with every stroke.

Jen released her lip, letting her teeth sink into the damp flesh of his shoulder, her tongue sucking the salty sweat from his skin. Doug shuddered beneath her, falling back as his hips arced off the bed, pressing up into her, burying his orgasm as deeply inside her as he could. He released her arms as he fell, his right hand flying off the bed and sending the alarm clock crashing off the nightstand and skittering across the floor.

Jen stared at the plain white face of the clock as she stopped moving, the static buzzing freezing her. “Oh.”

Doug closed his eyes and covered them with his hand, his chest rising and falling rapidly with his erratic breath, the ache of tears suddenly dry in his throat. He forced his hand away and made himself look up into her guilty eyes. “Don’t.”

“I wasn’t thinking…”

“It was a gift, Jen. Not something that you went out and bought.” Doug managed a grin. “Besides, what college student doesn’t need a snooze alarm? And I’d much rather you had one than know that he’s coming in here and getting you out of bed every morning.”

“I remember the night we broke it…”

“Jen…” Doug nearly cursed as she moved off of him, crossing her arms over her chest as she moved away from him. “Honey…”

“Don’t.” She shook her head, sending the tears sliding down her cheeks. “How can you do this? How can you be with me?”

“I love you.”

“I cheated on you. I…I started to fall for another guy and I did all the things I swore I’d never do when I found someone who loved me. But instead I did exactly what always destroyed me.”

“Jen,” he got off the bed and moved over to her, his hand wrapping around her shoulder as he drew her close. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a clock.”

“I lied to you.”

He looked down at her, wishing he could block out her words, the look on her face. “Jen…”

“You should go, Doug. Because if you stay here I’ll have to tell you what I did and I don’t know if I can hurt you like that and still live with myself.” She reached out with a trembling hand, her eyes wet with tears, her vision blurry. He stepped back before she could touch him, bending down to gather up his clothes. He dressed without speaking, his own thick breathing masked by her sobs.

As soon as he finished dressing, he moved to the door and stood there, his hand on the knob. Jen stood behind him, her hand hovering over his back. Reaching into his jacket pocket, Doug pulled out a small box wrapped in Christmas paper and set it on her desk. “Merry Christmas.”

The door shut behind him before she could respond. Making her way slowly to her desk, she took off the crumpled bow and carefully opened the paper, determined not to tear it. The small velvet box brought another sob to her throat, making it almost impossible to breathe.

She set it down on the desk, unopened, locked her bedroom door, buried herself under the covers and cried.

~**~

Doug opened the door and shook his head, backing away to allow Grams to walk in. “I expected you sooner.”

“I had a somewhat inconsolable granddaughter to deal with.” Grams looked pointedly at the sofa. Doug nodded toward it.

“Can I get you anything?”

“An explanation would be nice.” She settled onto the cushions and leaned back, her gaze hawk-like as it met Doug’s. “And tea.”

“Cream or sugar?”

“No, thank you.” She watched him walk into the kitchen, disappearing from her sight for a few moments. “Would you like to tell me your version of what happened?”

“Not really.”

Grams got off the couch and moved to the kitchen doorway, leaning against it as she watched Doug, staring down at the teapot. “Shall I tell you hers?”

“I was there. I know what happened.”

“She told me that she messed up the one good thing in her life and she had no idea how to make it right and I had to do something, tell her something that would fix it.” Grams watched him flinch. “She told me that she cheated on you and hurt you and, as if that weren’t bad enough, she’d missed your birthday.”

“She didn’t miss it.”

“She ruined it?”

“She didn’t ruin it.” Doug took the kettle off the stove and poured the steaming water into two waiting cups. As he set the kettle back on the stovetop, he lifted a small bottle that sat on the counter. “Brandy?” When she shook her head, he shrugged and poured a healthy slug into his cup.

“Douglas…”

“Can I have it?”

“Please tell me what happened that night.”

He held out his hand as he sipped his tea and Grams dug the small, velvet box out of her dress pocket. “I don’t know that she ever even opened it.”

“Why should she?” He set it on the counter, unopened and set the teacup beside it, reaching instead for the brandy and simply taking a shot from the bottle. “She wasn’t interested in the contents anyway.”

“You know very well that’s not true,” Grams admonished him, taking the bottle out of his hand. “Tell me what happened.”

“She fucked her roommate,” Doug stated flatly. “Merry Christmas, huh?”

“She told me that she cheated on you and that she told you about it.” Grams sat at the kitchen table and looked up at him. “I’m sorry.”

Doug reached for the box and stared at it, not actually seeing it. “I’d never been in love before. Do you know that? Jen was the first person that I’ve ever loved. The only person.”

“Douglas…”

He started to open the lid then let it snap shut. He held the box out to Grams. “Take it. Give it back to her, throw it away, return it…I don’t care. Just…I just don’t want it.”

“Douglas, you mustn’t…”

“Please, Mrs. Ryan. Tell Jen you did what she wanted and returned it to me and let that be the end of it, okay?”

“She’s moved in with Jack. They’ve decided they’ve had enough of dorm life and we’ve all gotten a three bedroom apartment together.” Grams rubbed her thumb over the velvet covering as she stood up, unable to meet his eyes.

“Is she still seeing him?”

“No. She stopped. She hasn’t seen him since the night you left. Not in…that way.” Grams sighed. “I can’t take this, Douglas.”

“You don’t want to take it, Mrs. Ryan. I can’t take it.” He couldn’t even manage a smile as he looked at her. “Please?”

“A month ago you were calling me Grams, as if you were one of my children.”

Doug flinched at her words, his hurt almost palpable in the room. “A month ago, I almost was. It was my gift to her. I don’t want it. And…and I think you should go.”

“Very well.” Grams stood up and headed for the front door, the small box clenched tightly in her hand. “Had she come here today to return it to you, would you have taken it?”

“Where is she today?” Doug asked the question lightly, as if the answer didn’t matter.

“Out…with…with friends.”

“With him.” Doug nodded, knowing the truth behind her lie. “Tell her I loved her.”

“Won’t you come and tell her yourself?” Grams turned around, her eyes pleading with him.

“I did,” he gestured toward the box in her hand. “It didn’t seem to be enough.”

 

~**~  
Doug rested his head against the cool iron bars, closing his eyes rather than look into the dark cell. The station was quiet behind him, only one other officer on duty and he was no doubt locked in the bathroom, thumbing through the collection of Playboy magazines he’d brought in.

He slipped the key into the lock and swung the cell door open. He turned to grab the cart that stood beside him, stopping only when he felt someone grab his wrist, the loud click of the handcuff closing around it echoing through the empty room.

The second click rattled as the cuff settled against the crossbar of the cell, metal ringing against metal as he turned.

Even in the dim light she was beautiful. Her blonde hair was still long, curling around her shoulders in a silken cascade. Her eyes were like fire, dancing as she smiled at him. She reached around him to the back of his belt, freeing his handcuffs from their leather pouch. “Derek really shouldn’t leave his cuffs lying around. Anyone could use them.” She snapped the silver around his wrist and then hooked the free one to another of the iron bars.

He didn’t look at her as she knelt in front of him, unbuckling his belt and pushing it aside. Her fingers moved over him knowingly, unfastening his pants and pushing them down his legs. His blue uniform shirt hung down, shielding his erection from her.

Her short nails scraped his skin as she pulled his boxer-briefs down, easing them over his cock, freeing him from the cloth, only to capture him in her mouth. Her lips closed around him, sheathing him in fiery heat.

Doug stood against the cold bars as Jen gripped the ones on either side of him, running her tongue down his length, the tip pressed firmly to the vein that ran along the underside of it. Doug’s hands shifted in the cuffs, curling around the bars, his nails digging into his palm as she pulled back, sucking hard on the tip until she forced a quiet cry from between his tight lips.

Pulling away slowly, she moved back to the opposite wall, grabbing the chair that sat against it and bringing it over to Doug. “Sit down?” She half-asked, half-demanded, smiling with satisfaction as he did as she requested.

His arms above his head, she lifted her skirt and climbed onto the chair, her knees pressing his thighs together as she straddled him, her body settling over his easily, taking him inside her in one smooth motion.

Doug’s muscles stood out in high relief against the tight material of his uniform shirt, his biceps flexed as he clung to the bars. She ran her hands along his arms, feeling the dangerous tension building as he strained against the handcuffs. Her hands wrapped around his biceps, she leaned into him, capturing his top lip between her lip and her tongue, sucking on it lightly as she began moving, lifting her body away from his for an agonizing moment, feeling the solid thickness of his cock almost leave her before gliding downward again, letting him fill her up.

She pulled back, letting her hands slide down his arms to the juncture between his shoulder and neck. She closed her eyes, holding him, her thumbs resting against his collarbone as she began moving in earnest.

Doug tilted his head back, leaning against the iron bars as Jen’s knees dug into his thighs, her body astride his. Their hips locked together as she rocked above him, every subtle moving driving him deeper inside her.

She whispered his name, her tongue moving along his jaw line. She tasted his skin, her teeth capturing his earlobe, her breath spiraling down his spine. Easing one leg away from him, Jen moved it around, slipping it behind the back of the chair, forcing herself harder against him.

Jen moaned into his neck as Doug’s hips arched off the chair, his hands still curled around the bars above him. Eager to meet his thrusts, Jen moved her hands away from his neck and wrapped them around his hands, feeling the strength in them, bringing her breasts tantalizingly close to his mouth. Doug’s breath was hot as it pierced her shirt, her nipples responding to the sudden onslaught.

Doug’s hands shook with built up tension, trying to hold back the orgasm that shimmered inside of him, dancing along his cock as she bathed him in wetness, her body stroking his like a tight fist clenched around his shaft. He felt Jen’s body tighten even further as she gasped and released his hands, her fingers moving to her clit, rubbing it furiously as he finally came inside her with a labored grunt.

Moaning quietly, Jen’s fingers moved quickly, brushing the base of his cock as she moved over him, desperate for release. He continued pressing his hips up against hers, his eyes closed as her free hand slid down his arm and cradled his face, pressing it to her breasts as her orgasm crashed around him.

The room was silent as Jen carefully slid off his lap and backed away. He didn’t look at her when she moved back toward him, reaching into the pocket of his slacks for the handcuff key. She held the key ring in her hand for a long moment as she studied his face, unnerved by the soft flush of pleasure that was settled uneasily over another expression she couldn’t read. Finally, she lifted the key to the handcuff that held him to the bars.

She fit the key into the lock and turned it, freezing as his hand came free.

There was a gold band on his finger.

“Oh.” The sound was soft and regretful.

Doug pulled himself together, carefully adjusting his uniform. “Welcome back to Capeside.” He didn’t meet her eyes. “When did you get back into town?”

She took his hand and ran her thumb over the golden band. “Not soon enough, apparently.”

He pulled his hand away and turned from her. “I wasn’t aware there was some sort of time limit on coming home again.” He unlocked the handcuff from the bars and slipped the silver cuffs back into their place on his belt. “Not that this is home for you anymore, really.”

She watched him walk toward the front of the building, back to the offices. “Can you not even look at me, Doug? We were in love…”

“Six years ago.” Doug stopped walking, not turning back. “We were in love six years ago.”

“You told me to get on with my life…”

“And you didn’t expect me to do the same?”

“You can’t even look at me.”

He turned around slowly and faced her, his blue eyes regretful. “What exactly did you come here for, Jen?”

Tears stung her eyes. “I just…I just wanted to see you.”

“And fuck me, apparently.”

She bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears. “I…” She shook her head and brushed past him, leaving him standing there as she ran out of the police station.

~**~  
Doug opened the door and leaned against it, watching Jen as she shifted nervously. “Well, this is a surprise.”

“I have no right to be here,” she conceded immediately. “Being here, in fact, is probably wrong on a multitude of levels. But I felt…I felt like I needed to apologize.”

“Would you like to come in?” He stepped back, holding the door open for her.

“I don’t know if I should. Is your wife home?”

Doug paused briefly. “No.”

“That doesn’t help.” She looked around, lost. “Should I?”

Shaking his head, Doug walked away, deeper into the house. “Shut the door, either way.”

Jen followed him, closing the door behind her. The house was dimly lit until he pushed open the door that led into the kitchen, flooding light through the hallway. “How long have you lived here?”

“Three years.” Doug picked up a glass from where he’d left it on the counter. “You want some wine?”

“I don’t…”

“And dinner? I was just about to start cooking. There’s plenty.”

“Is it really wise? I mean, won’t your wife…”

“Jen, you fucked me in the police station yesterday. I doubt lemon chicken will compound the crime.”

“Are you going to tell her what…I’ll gladly admit that I initiated the whole thing and put you in a situation where you couldn’t exactly fight back.” She stopped, horrified. “Oh, God. I raped you.”

Doug chuckled and set a glass of wine in front of her before moving to the refrigerator. “Yeah, well, let’s not let that get out to the general public, okay? I’d hate to destroy the macho image I’ve strived so hard to cultivate.”

“How can you laugh about this, Doug?”

He stilled, his focus entirely on the chicken in his hands. “Beth…my wife…” He paused and swallowed. “Beth is dead.”

“Oh.”

“She died two years ago.” He stopped, and for a moment, she didn’t think he planned to continue. “We’d just left the reception, on our way to the wedding night. She was so excited and nervous. We hadn’t…she told me she wanted to wait for the right moment.” He laughed and took a sip of his wine. “She was a romantic, or at least she’d become one by the time she met me.”

Jen took a drink as well, staring at the rigid line of his back.

“She’d moved over to the seat behind the limo driver. She wanted to tell him something.” His strong hand ran through his dark hair, shaking slightly. “I stayed where I was, teasing her about cutting off the champagne. She’d turned back to look at me, her mouth open to say something…”

Jen waited in the silence for several minutes. “Doug?”

“The truck ploughed into the limo. Practically ripped it in half. The driver died instantly.”

“And Beth?”

“She was alive for two weeks. The accident severed her spinal cord. There was severe head trauma.” He shrugged as if trying to rid himself of the images. “The doctors were surprised she lasted as long as she did.”

He stopped speaking as he went to the sink and washed his hands before starting to prepare the food. Jen slowly sipped her wine, watching until his movements slowed, fluid again. “What’s Pacey up to?”

“He’s got a business in Florida. Tours or something.”

“Florida, huh?”

“Yeah. He got a business degree. He seems to like being his own boss. And Florida is the one place he thinks he can stay sober.”

“Oh.”

Doug laughed. “Pacey’s doing fine. As long as his life remains free of anyone named Potter.”

“Ah.” Jen nodded her understanding. “Is that why he and Andie split up again?”

“Nope.” Doug relaxed, obviously happier talking about other people’s messed up lives. “Andie dumped my little brother for an affair with one of her Harvard professors. He got depressed, went out to a bar, ran into Joey. They got drunk, they had sex, and the next morning…”

“She acted just like Joey.”

“Surprise, surprise.” Doug smirked and poured them both more wine. “What about you?”

“Graduated. Got a job as a writer for a local magazine. I do that and some freelance stuff.” She stared down into the shimmery depths of her glass. “I’ve gone back to school now too. Taking some psych courses.”

“How’s you’re grandmother? And Jack?”

“Jack’s good. He’s found himself a nice guy and they’ve been together for about six months. He’s gotten his teaching degree and he’s working with disadvantaged and disabled kids.”

“Wasn’t this the guy who didn’t want to be an activist?”

Jen watched him as he sliced vegetables, his hands moving without thought. “He’s a quiet activist.”

“And Grams?” He picked up a stalk of celery and took a bite, then held it out to her.

“She’s great.” Jen took it from his hand, careful not to touch him. “She moved into a nursing home that she loves. She’s organized a church group, a knitting group, a decoupage group and a movie night. But I think the last one is just an excuse to sit in the dark with her new boyfriend.”

Doug laughed. “I miss seeing her. Tell her that, would you?”

“I will.” He moved over to the stove as she munched on the celery stick. “You prefer a house to an apartment?”

“Most of the time.” He started the food then moved over to the table and sat across from her. “It’s more work, but it’s something permanent.”

She held his gaze. “You never said what happened to you.”

“What?”

He looked away, but she knew he understood her question. “The accident.”

“Nothing. I didn’t have a scratch.” He turned his gaze to the wall and stared at the wallpaper. “Beth lay on her deathbed cursing me for all she was worth. How dare I live? How dare I stand there beside her, not hurt at all? How dare I get to move on with my life when she hadn’t even had a chance to live hers.” Doug shook his head. “The head trauma triggered something…or something. Changed her personality. She hurled expletives at everyone. Most especially me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He managed to smile at her. “And don’t worry about the rape charge. I have no intention of turning you into the police.”

“You still wear the ring?”

“I’m still married.” He turned his attention back to the stove, letting silence settle between them as he finished cooking. Jen watched him, trying to sort through the feelings that seemed to be warring within her.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Set the table.” He gestured to the glass fronted cabinets above the counter. “Dishes are in there. Silverware’s in here.”

Jen grabbed two plates and set them on the table them moved over to the silverware drawer. Just as she opened it, he turned and was next to her, the air suddenly filled with warm, thick tension. Her lips parted slightly as she stared up at him, her tongue darting out to dampen them. “Careful.”

He took a step back, away from the drawer as she fished forks out of it. “You want more wine?”

Jen shut the drawer with her hip, putting herself directly in front of him. She stared at him, seeing him for the first time. His blue eyes were no longer carefree, his face no longer unlined. He looked slightly worn, slightly used. “Did you love her?”

“Yes.”

She nodded and set the forks on the countertop before raising one hand to touch his lips. “Do you still?”

“That’s not the question you want to ask me, Jen.” Doug closed his eyes as he spoke, the soft brush of her fingers against his mouth a lonely caress. “Is it?”

She shook her head and pulled her hand away, grabbing the forks and moving back to the small table. “Wine would be nice.”

He nodded and grabbed the bottle, setting it on the table before he moved back to the stove to get the food. “Why psychology?”

“So I can figure out why I’m so fucked up.” She grinned as he sat across from her. “I mean, I know the root of all my problems, but I can’t seem to figure out why I can’t work through them.”

“What is the root of all your problems?”

“I’m incredibly fucked up.” She watched his hands as he served her. “Let’s take my misspent youth, for example. Easily attributed to acting out in an effort to get my parents attention. However, why did I feel the need to continue the behavior after I was in a warm, loving, secure environment with Grams?” She took a bite, savoring the tender chicken for a moment before continuing. “And why, even after I was involved in a relationship that gave me everything I needed, not to mention had ever wanted, did I feel the need to sabotage it?”

“Well, from what you told me, Dawson was a complete dick when he found out about your past.” Doug grinned and took a sip of his wine. “Oh. Wait. Were you talking about us?”

“What happened between us…”

“Don’t. It’s the past. I’ve moved on. I’m sure you have.” He speared a vegetable and brought it up to his mouth, concentrating on anything but her. “Or were the rest of your college years celibate?”

“There were…” She smiled, embarrassed. “Why is it that you have no problems asking the questions you really want to ask?”

“I don’t subscribe to the bullshit theory that you and your little gang did. If you want to know something, ask. And if you don’t want to tell someone the answer, tell them it’s none of their business.”

“Why do you want to know?”

Doug sighed. “Jen, as much fun as this is, dancing around the subject? Let’s just stop, okay? I want to know because I have some morbid desire to know that I wasn’t the big love of your life, that you moved on after me and had relationships, had sex with however many people you saw fit to sleep with. And you want to know why I want to know because you hope that it means that I still have feelings for you. What I want to know is why you actually give a damn. Why, after six years of no contact, you’re suddenly back in town, wondering what Doug’s been up to in the interim.”

“I’m engaged.” She looked down at her plate, unwilling to meet his eyes. “Or about to be engaged.”

“Well, congratu-fucking-lations.” Doug shoved his plate away and got up from the table, pushing through the doors out of the kitchen.

Jen followed him quickly, weaving her way through the darkness. “Doug, please?” He stopped abruptly, his body silhouetted by the moonlight that trickled in through the window. “Dale…that’s his name, Dale. Dale asked me, and I told him that I couldn’t answer him until I figured some things out.”

“And I’m one of those things?”

She shivered at his tone of voice, deep and wounded. “You’re the only thing, Doug. I loved you. I love you. And I stayed away because I thought that was what you wanted, that it would be easier for you. I didn’t want to hurt you again. And it was right, wasn’t it? Because you found someone else, you got married…”

“Go away, Jen.”

“You were happy, weren’t you, Doug? You fell in love.”

“I missed you with every fucking breath I took.” It was a low growl. “I wanted every blonde I saw to be you.” He shook his head and blew out a long breath. “Never mind. Good luck to you with your marriage. I’m just fucking thrilled for you.”

“How was I supposed to come back to you after the way things ended?”

“I told you to go away to college and have a great time.” He turned back to face her, his anger apparent even in the darkness. “I told you I’d miss you and I loved you. I, admittedly, didn’t come right out and beg you to come back to town, to me, but I thought it was implied.”

“You left Boston pissed off! You walked off and left me with an unspoken proposal, simply to let me know what I’d screwed up!” She shook her head in angry frustration. “You basically told me to go to Tim.”

“I didn’t go anywhere, Jen. I was right here. If you’d wanted to come, you would have come. You wouldn’t have sent your grandmother to give me back the…gift I gave you.” He shook his head, the anger gone. “I waited for four years. I waited for you; even after Grams’ visit, and I knew that you weren’t coming back. And then I met Beth and she was blonde, and sweet, and beautiful and I thought, what the hell? You weren’t coming back. Why should I sit there and live my life as if it belonged to you?”

“You never called or wrote…”

“And she didn’t want anything from me at first. And then it looked serious. I mean, six months wasn’t a lifetime, but we got along and we liked the same things and she loved me. And since I hadn’t heard from my girlfriend in four years, I figured it was safe enough to assume that we weren’t together anymore. So I asked her. And she said yes.”

“I thought you didn’t want to see me again.”

“And I’ve told you the rest.”

“You were so upset.”

“I was hurt.” He held up his hands. “Go get married, Jen. My blessings and best wishes for you both.”

“I’m not in love with him.”

“Well, I’m not in love with you.”

She stared after him as he walked out of the room, not even looking at her as he passed. Tears streamed down her face as she watched him go before turning back toward the front of the house. She stumbled blindly to the door, her hand on the knob to open it when suddenly he was behind her, against her, holding her to the door.

Jen inhaled, the action forcing her body back against his. Doug buried his face in her hair, not speaking. Her hand slowly left the doorknob and settled over his fists, clenched together at her waist. “Don’t leave.”

“I won’t,” she assured him, her thumb stroking his white knuckles. “I swear. Not even if you try and push my away for my own sake.”

He sighed, the soft breath ruffling her hair. “I missed you.”

“That’s the first time you’ve said that since I went away to college.”

“I didn’t want you to know how completely whipped I was.” His fists slowly unclenched, spreading over her flat stomach.

“So you’re mine to just do with what I wish?” She relaxed against him, enjoying the feel of his caresses.

“Actually,” he released her and stepped away before moving back in and sweeping her up in his arms. “I think it’s the other way around.”

He carried up her up the stairs easily. “You know this offends the hell out of my liberated sensibilities.”

“You want to carry me?” He started to put her down, stopping as she laughed and shook her head. “Didn’t think so.” He paused outside the bedroom door. “I should probably warn you.”

“What?”

He entered the room and set her gently on the bed. She watched him as he reached over to the nightstand, giggling helplessly as he slipped one handcuff around her wrist. “I’m going to pay you back for yesterday.”

“Promise?” He looked at her seriously, his blue eyes dark as he slipped the other half of the cuff around his own wrist.

“Promise.” He lay down beside her, his head nestled in the hollow of her neck. “But we’re not going to have sex.”

“We’re not?”

He looked up at her then away from her curious eyes. “It’s been six years, Jen. The last time I saw you, I offered you a ring you refused to take. In the meantime, you’ve gotten engaged and I’ve gotten married.” She nodded wordlessly as he paused, breathing deeply. “I’m not ready to let you destroy me again.”

“So we’re sleeping?”

“Yeah.” He inhaled her scent, his eyes closed. “And we’ll see what tomorrow brings.”

“You realize you’re going to have to explain to my Grandmother why I don’t come home tonight.”

“Please, your grandmother loves me.”

“You said fuck to my grandmother.”

He chuckled, the sound rumbling through her. “She was impressed that I said it in front of her.”

“She prayed for you.”

“Go to sleep, Jen.”

She nodded, resting her chin on the blanket of his thick hair. “Goodnight, Doug. Sweet dreams.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, his body aching from the pure proximity of her. “Undoubtedly.”

~**~  
Doug stared out at the darkened road and sighed, his gaze flickering to the radar gun that lay on the dashboard, awaiting some sort of activity. He glanced down at his watch and sighed again, wondering vaguely if the night had any intention of ending.

He closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat, springing to life as the passenger side door opened. His gun was in his fist, silent and deadly as it pointed directly at the open door.

“I come in peace,” Jen assured him, her hands in the air.

“You’re trying to get shot, aren’t you? Or worse. This is a deserted stretch of road, Jen. Where the hell is your car?”

“About a mile away. I parked at that tavern that closed down about a month ago.” She shrugged and slipped off her damp tennis shoes. “I walked through the field so you wouldn’t see me.”

“And what if someone was in that field? Drug dealers? Drunken high school kids? Wild bulls?”

“I think I was more at risk of being shot by my friendly, neighborhood policeman.” She looked pointedly at his holster, the gun secured back in its leather pouch. “I just wanted to surprise you.”

“You did.”

Jen bit her lower lip and tilted her head, shifting in her seat so that she was facing him. He glanced out the windshield quickly then turned back to face her, barely masking his smile as she pulled her T-shirt over her head, her bare breasts softly pink in the moonlight. “Still surprised?”

Doug closed his eyes and inhaled, shaking his head slowly. “I’m on duty.”

“You were on duty when we broke your desk chair,” she moved across the seat, straddling him, her arms looped around his neck. “And I promise not to break anything tonight.”

Doug’s hands stroked her back, feeling the smooth skin like silk under his fingertips. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“You’re on duty until 2am. Grams is watching the kid.” Jen moved her hips in a slow, steady circle, her body pressing down onto his. Doug groaned softly and she leaned into him, her breath hot on his ear. “I’ve missed you.”

Doug’s hands slid up her back, curving over her shoulders and pulling her away from him so that his mouth could move down her chest to the gentle slope of her breasts. He captured one nipple with his tongue, sucking the tip until it hardened. As his mouth caressed her breast, Jen rolled her hips against his, rocking against his erection as it strained against the blue fabric of his uniform. His holster rested against her knee, the cool steel trapped between her and his thigh.

Doug shifted her on his lap, releasing her erect nipple and dragging her across his body, settling her across the seat. “You’re going to get me in so much fucking trouble,” he informed her, his fingers unbuttoning his shirt quickly as she lifted one leg, bending it as it passed him before slipping it behind his back.

He tugged his shirt off his arms, down his back, shoving it against his door before tugging his undershirt over his head. Jen unfastened her jeans and slid them down her body, the slippery sheen of her panties glowing in the pale light from the instrument panel. Doug stopped undressing to slide two fingers along the edge of the panties, moving under the elastic and brushing against her lips, swollen with arousal. He brushed them through her wetness before bringing them to his lips, sucking them clean as she wriggled toward him, her legs spread wide in invitation.

He fumbled with his belt, unbuckling it before shoving his pants and boxer-briefs down his legs, feeling them pool at his knees as he moved into her, his cock brushing at the material between her thighs. Jen reached down, pushing her panties over her hips, letting the silken fabric slide along his cock as she rid herself of them.

Doug moved further forward, pressing the tip of his cock to her opening, feeling the feverish heat of her skin against his. He slipped one arm underneath her lower back, lifting her hips slightly off the seat as he pushed forward, penetrating her with an even stroke. “One of these days, Mrs. Witter, you’re going to get me in a hell of a lot of trouble.”

She smiled up at him as they began moving together. “We could always stop if you’d rather play it safe.” She inhaled sharply as he bent his head and licked her neck, finding his way along the hollow to her earlobe. “Get dressed and pretend this never happened.”

“We could,” he agreed as his hair brushed her chin, his lips gliding along her collarbone. “We should.” His hips rolled against hers, pulling away before pushing in deeper each time, needing her. “You should put on your shirt.” He lifted his hand and caught her nipple between his fingers, playing with the hard tip as she shivered.

“And my jeans?” She asked weakly.

“Mmm,” Doug agreed as he found her mouth again, his tongue exploring hers as she wrapped her other leg around him, lifting her hips off the bench seat. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she pulled him away from her, her eyes catching his as she pressed up against him.

“I can’t get dressed with you inside me.”

“Good point,” Doug began moving in earnest, his thrusts building in intensity as Jen tilted her head back, grinding into him. “I should do something about that then.”

“Yes,” she agreed, locking her ankles together, her knee banging against the steering wheel, the horn bleating out into the night. She giggled, surprised, but kept moving with him, neither able to speak now as hunger and desire took over, pushing them past flirtation.

Doug’s free hand snaked underneath her body and forced her hips even higher, his body bent over hers, his head buried against her skin, the taste of sweat and powder on his lips as she panted beneath him, both of them moving wildly against one another in the desperate quest for release.

Jen’s heels dug into Doug’s ass as she arched off the seat, her hand reaching out to the dashboard for support. Her low, keening cry was offset by the sudden wail of the siren as it filled the quiet night. Doug wrenched his hand from beneath her and slapped at the controls, the silence suddenly looming around them.

Jen bit her lower lip as Doug pulled back from her. “So,” she asked, trying desperately not to laugh. “Was it good for you too?”

His smile threatened as he leaned down to kiss her, his lips warm. “Bells rang.”

“Wow. I’m good.”

“You? I’m pretty sure it was me.”

“Oh yeah?” She pouted as he carefully disentangled their bodies, opening his door to give them more room to wriggle back into their clothes. “Do bells go off when you masturbate?”

“Masturbate?” He reached for her and pulled her into his lap, sticky and sweaty and satisfied. He kissed the tip of her nose. “That’s what I have a wife for.”

“Keep up comments like that and you’re going to get some serious personal knowledge of masturbation.” She pressed her nose to his and smiled. “Since that’ll be the only sex you’re getting.”

“It worked for me for the first part of my life.”

“But you hadn’t had me yet then.” She slid off his lap and out of the car, leaning down to give him one last kiss. “And once you’ve had me, it’s impossible to go back.”

He grabbed her arm and guided her back in the car, shutting the door and stretching back out on the seat, her body on top of his. “You sure? Maybe I should have you again, just to be safe.”

She giggled and snuggled into his embrace. “Grams is watching the kid. We’ve got all night. But you’re on duty.”

Doug started undressing her again, wanting to feel her skin against his. “Why the hell do you think I deliberately patrol a deserted stretch of road?”


End file.
